The Command to Marriage


Vaughn, I’ve followed this site for quite a long time in order to make sure I have the proper impression before commenting. Reading through several dozen of your posts has given me a very good grasp of what you believe. Suffice to say, we disagree on much… First, it is troubling to me that you … Read More

Searching for a Steak Sandwich

steak sandwhich

The goal of betrothal is marriage. However poorly we make it work, whatever obstacles lay upon the way, what we teach on this site has the goal… of marriage. Not of a series of fun relationships, not of determining God’s will by turning down a series of marriages… but of marriage.

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The Perfect Match


I thought you guys didn’t believe in this whole ‘perfect match’ idea anyway! What’s up with that?

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Idolatry is committed, not merely by setting up false gods, but also by setting up false devils; by making men afraid of war or alcohol, or economic law, when they should be afraid of spiritual corruption and cowardice GK Chesterton The other day I noticed that someone on the web had ‘responded’ to our post … Read More

Eight Leaps: Notes and Addendum


Notes and addendum There are many good people who are denied the supreme blessing of children, and for these we have the respect and sympathy always due to those who, from no fault of their own, are denied any of the other great blessings of life. But the man or woman who deliberately foregoes these … Read More

Deal Breakers


One of the big differences between courtship and betrothal as we teach it here is our view toward ‘failed’ courtships. The advocates for courtship would like to have us believe that the failure of a courtship process to reach marriage, or even the failure of an individual who believes in courtship to get married, is not a ‘failure’ of courtship but a success. A ‘feature’, as Doug Wilson tells us, not a ‘bug’.

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Courtship: Awed or Flawed?


The recent flurry of articles is an indication that the church is recognizing that there is a problem with the way we are getting our children married. And, being Christ’s church they know, or at least should know, and definitely will know, that the solution to all of their problems is found in Scripture. We went there for homeschooling, for family integration, for full quiver… now we just have to be willing to go there for the issue of the path to marriage.

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A Leap of Logic and other issues

leap 2

Let us remember the basic issue that we are discussing. That Doug Wilson called multiple rejections of men seeking wives a good thing. He called them a ‘feature not a bug’. For each of the several young men that came for his daughter he patted them on the back and sent them on their way with ‘be warmed and filled (but not with my daughter).’

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Begging the Circular Question


One of the things I love about the courtship process is that the success or failure of a courtship is not and cannot be judged by whether or not it results in marriage.  A successful courtship is one which results in all parties concerned being able to move forward in singleness or in matrimony confident … Read More

People Didn’t Date in Bible Times


People didn’t date in biblical times. Dating as a socially accepted means of finding a mate has been around for less than a century. Before that, strict courtship rituals governed the path to marriage. Whom you married wasn’t even up to you most of the time. Falling in love before you got married or engaged is a twentieth-century concept.

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