Why Aren’t you Married?


Someone needs to write the book that this book should have been. A book, perhaps even by a despairing older unmarried woman, that points out that Scripture actually teaches us to ‘let them marry’ and that goes through the false teachings and missed actions that prevented them, and still prevents so many others, from marrying.

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Quoting Calvin


In our articles and other works, we often include quotations from Reformers and old commentators (such as John Calvin, Matthew Henry, John Gill, and Martin Luther, among others). There are some who do not appreciate this, however. They object to our use of such quotations and have heavily criticized us for this on multiple occasions (usually providing little to no basis, though, other than that we simply shouldn’t quote them).

But, this type of criticism is a bit odd, given our reasons for doing this. There are at least three basic reasons why we quote such men and include them in our discussions.

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Will the Real Eunuchs Please Stand Up?


This passage is not about being unmarried in general. It is a discourse for those with the rare gift to remain chaste without marriage. Really, for those who are not in need of and have no inclination toward marriage because of God’s special grace in them. And Paul gives several guidelines to help his audience to determine if they do have this gift. He does not apply any of his instruction indiscriminately but is always careful to clarify that his advice is conditional.

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Eunuchs: The Exception, Not the Rule


One hardly ever hears of someone asking themselves the question of whether it is God’s calling on them to remain unmarried. That seems to be already assumed, by default, for no other reason than mere circumstances. And unless by some miraculous calling for them to get married, they will stay that way. But this is 180-degrees backwards from what Scripture teaches and what the Church has historically believed. It is not a matter of whether someone has been called to marriage but whether they have been called to celibacy.

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The Command to Marriage


Vaughn, I’ve followed this site for quite a long time in order to make sure I have the proper impression before commenting. Reading through several dozen of your posts has given me a very good grasp of what you believe. Suffice to say, we disagree on much… First, it is troubling to me that you … Read More

Searching for a Steak Sandwich

steak sandwhich

The goal of betrothal is marriage. However poorly we make it work, whatever obstacles lay upon the way, what we teach on this site has the goal… of marriage. Not of a series of fun relationships, not of determining God’s will by turning down a series of marriages… but of marriage.

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The Perfect Match


I thought you guys didn’t believe in this whole ‘perfect match’ idea anyway! What’s up with that?

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Idolatry is committed, not merely by setting up false gods, but also by setting up false devils; by making men afraid of war or alcohol, or economic law, when they should be afraid of spiritual corruption and cowardice GK Chesterton The other day I noticed that someone on the web had ‘responded’ to our post … Read More

Eight Leaps: Notes and Addendum


Notes and addendum There are many good people who are denied the supreme blessing of children, and for these we have the respect and sympathy always due to those who, from no fault of their own, are denied any of the other great blessings of life. But the man or woman who deliberately foregoes these … Read More

Deal Breakers


One of the big differences between courtship and betrothal as we teach it here is our view toward ‘failed’ courtships. The advocates for courtship would like to have us believe that the failure of a courtship process to reach marriage, or even the failure of an individual who believes in courtship to get married, is not a ‘failure’ of courtship but a success. A ‘feature’, as Doug Wilson tells us, not a ‘bug’.

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